You met your significant other in a way that neither of you will ever forget. Soon (or maybe not so soon) after that initial meeting you started dating and fell in love. Finally, the question is popped. First there’s silence. Then pure happiness. Maybe tears. The answer is “YES - Yes, I will marry you!!”

Like many excited couples, you probably want to share your news with the world! If you could shout it from the tallest mountain, you’d let everyone know the happiness and joy the two of you are feeling the very second you become engaged. But who do you tell first and when?

The following is a guideline for those who wish to keep with tradition:

YOUR PARENTS

If you’ve followed tradition, and the groom has asked your parents for your hand in marriage, then they already know (assuming they have said yes.) So telling them and showing off your new ring will be an exciting formality. However, in case the groom-to-be “forgot” to ask your parents for your hand in marriage, that may be the perfect place to start.

If your parents are divorced, depending on your relationship with them, you may opt to tell the one you are closest to first. If your parents are still good friends then you can plan to tell them together.
The same rules apply to the groom’s parents. In the event neither of your parents have met your future spouse, or they are not too fond of him/her, you may want to tell them alone. This will enable them to respond in a truthful manner and ask any questions or attempt to resolve any pre-conceived notions they may have about the situation.

YOUR CHILDREN

If either of you have children, then you should tell them before you tell your parents. It makes the child/children feel important and lets them know that you respect and love them before anything or anyone. If your child is very young, it might be a good idea to share the news in the presence of their other parent, if that parent is mature enough to be a strong support for them. Both of you can reassure the child that this marriage will not make you love them any less. This conversation will, in fact, reiterate to the child that they are, and will always be, an essential part of your new life.

YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY

Extended family such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and even very close friends should be next in line. If either of you have been married before, out of courtesy, you should at least write your ex-spouse a note informing them of your new marriage. If you are still friends, or at least cordial, it wouldn’t hurt to tell them in person or over the phone.

FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS & THE GENERAL PUBLIC

After all of your family and close friends have been told, you can begin to have announcements made to your church family and/or to the members of any organizations you belong to. If your job has a newsletter, you can ask to have your engagement news printed there also. You may also want to send a picture of both of you and announce your engagement in your local newspaper.

Now that everyone you know is aware of your engagement it’s time to celebrate! Have the biggest engagement party you can afford. It doesn’t have to be a black-tie catered affair (save that for your reception).

Whether you have the event in your basement or a barbeque at the park, make it special. Your engagement party is for everyone you know and love to get together to wish you the best, to lend their support, to celebrate your happiness, and anticipate your wedding celebration right along with you.